I still feel a hint of guilt and helplessness. Guilt

the past few days feeling very feel oppressed, always wanted to write, but yet find it difficult to start, or is the point of the "diary\Today, however, sleep has given me the chance to reason:
21 点 半 asleep, woke up at 2 am, then I found myself again sleep.
time in bed to sleep a lot of things, from work to feelings ... there are many, many.
But recently the number of times during this time more frequent insomnia, in fact, are continually looking for reasons, and then find it most is that the future development of their own concerns. Last Friday, Laogong me to his office, pointing to the table a paper letter to tell me, the company's transfer order down, April 5 report prior to Beijing. Then talk to me about a lot, once this phase of the project development experience to the stage after the launch marketing plan, then for me to experience the company's growth this year. Laogong gave me a can to calm down the definition and positioning: the rapid growth was not enough, it can not be completely independent of the control the project. For this definition, I still feel a hint of guilt and helplessness. Guilt, guilt, what? Time did not use them. What helplessness and frustration? No choice of their location is too embarrassing.
position early last year, the vacancy marketing director, marketing department chair I began to work; in my opinion, currently the company for giving me this platform is an opportunity, even on my own assessment of the situation. However, nearly a year from my own work situation, the ability to work or not be subject to more stringent test, of course, also the progress of works and projects are related, although the work has been in marketing Zhunbei orderly conduct of the work carried out in these process, learned a lot, when, or see their own professional knowledge is not strong and the lack of marketing management experience. Around so many good real estate professional managers, but I do not have the opportunity to learn from them that they have really helped things, and why? I contacted them when in a professional base is still learning, maybe I should improve their knowledge about the structure and learning style: I should focus on their abilities, the target should not be doing a marketing director Or make a choice between Vice ship out OK, identify the direction is to learn the harder way of rapid growth.
recent insomnia, and sometimes even causes and co-operation will be small to the company by a contract, I do not believe that "busy" or "tired\The outside world is the word shirk, but if they still use this word to describe their own words, the biggest reason is their own work plan should be loose, I have been emphasizing reasonable arrangements and planning;
may be feeling it, the end of the period was 4 years of emotional, life is not always so in the sun. When lying in bed, sometimes before thinking their various experiences, I was holding her guilt feelings. This is mapped to my recent few things, however, I find myself unable to do too many things, many of the problems is no way to achieve change. Today, my aunt is still the question about his brother, his brother is a very good boy, girlfriend grown very style and is very pretty, very good fit two people, but they both always seem to be the identity of an asymmetric appear: a pair of reading a book the couple, every day is looking forward to their future life, but did not feel his life and career will face much pressure; girl for the time being before graduation, had to join showbiz, in to television work. Younger brother? Also in school. In this regard, a large gap between two people, the opportunity seems to be slim, but how to experience and grasp, is entirely their own. To them may be very difficult road ahead is a bumpy one party to pay more for granted. In fact, in some respects, I and my brother's situation is not very similar to it? The face of the helplessness and the future of helplessness when faced with the reality. Indeed, in our view, is their change things at this stage is too little too highs.
sometimes thought, and then choose one, something that has not ah; but after all, hard to find their own goals, or the goal is to find and fit but not forsake their past. Perhaps not having gone through a few paragraphs after the results of the feelings of love, devotion degree of reduction, resulting in their own words do not believe many things, or that have not yet found their true love? Thinking for a long time that: in fact in the dilemmas, feelings can not be forced. Well, not to this as the goal, Going it, in the absence of suitable targets before the patient is not necessarily a good choice ... ...